a day i wish wasnt

thanks guys for ur sincere wishes. really appreciate it these little things just make my day. never underestimate the power of wishes alright. its maybe somethign really small. but the meaning n symbolism to it is priceless and really touching. love u guys.

the highlight of my bday was the planned celebration with my very close friends. they mean alot to me. they suck in surprising people. so they gave up n just planned something for me. really enjoyed my day with them. im not gonna list their names down one by one. tahts one of the lame things to do. as long as u guys knw who u are. its gd enuf. love u guys. thanks soo much

ok so what about my bday? ok i had a nice dinner with my family. someone tried to spoil the dinner. but whatever. let him do what he wants. i dont give a damn. my parents were sweet. my dad was being random cos he cos bought me a photography magazine which is damn awesome. awesome tips and stuff. havent complete readin it. the fun was short lived once again by somethign else. so in conclusion i just wish its not my bday today. period.

nights all. cant wait for ccc camo anf freshmen orientation programme. n i saw the tshirt alredy awesome…

see u

right..

you wana make it right
i wana make it right
we wana make it right
they wana make it right

i wana be right
u wana be right
we wana be right
they wana be right

So whose gna be right
why do i always think im right?
do i think im right?
do u think ure right?

u feel what u felt was right
i feel that what i felt was right
we feel what we felt was right
they feel what they felt was right

do u know u know whats right?

yeap you

everyone’s laughing at you. real hard man.

instead of feeling better or making urself feel satisfied,

u just made urself look like the stupidest person on earth.

worst. when it comes to appearance and beauty, ur at the disadvantage.

ure just as good as the clown. or maybe u are the clown.

nah. not the clown. the clown earns money and he entertain people and put a smile on peoples’ face

but for u? mm. nah. maybe just the funny part. like u knw making a fool out of ur ugly self.

and also the negative things u say. kinda weird actually. cos whenever i see/ hear thsoe words. it reminds me of u. it somehow discribes u.

like weird eh. a fool calling someone else a fool. means ur words are meaningless. no credibility.

U LOST YOUR CREDIBILITY.

u have gd education. shows that u shud be able to use ur bloody brains.

but lately, i question ur education too. its suppose to bring u somewhere but now it doesnt seem so.

TYPICALITY

talk soo much. in the end. being a loser. not cos of what she says but rather what she did or achieve.

kinda sad. cos u damn stupid. waste ur fucking brain man.

i’d rather u donate it to a retard and replace it with teh retard’s brain. oh wait. like that there’ll be no difference. oh shit. dilemma much.

anyways, farhan did awesome for his performance on live and loaded. well done. and steve pls repair ur hp man. jel and lester slim down. fat cows. ok fine im fat too. hahha.

ok tired bye.

choice

you either make it or break it. its for your own damn good.

grow up much.

this world is getting more entertaining. im just amused. really.

u know like seeing the world progressing backwards. that kinda stuff. time progresses. same for our lifes and mindset. but apparently, its not happening in some part of the world. i bet u can see it for urselves. physically growing up but not the mind and attitude. but wells. who am to say right. i might just be guilty for that.

in the first place do we even have the right to think that othrs are not maturing? i dno eh. its just funny how some people can judge others when they themselves have their own flaws. like how credible are u again? people might just feel the same way about u too. get what i mean. its very lame.

for me personally i accept people for who they are, what they like, what they wish to be or do, etc. everyone knows what they are capable of doing and know what they really love to do and aspire to be and all. sometimes its just hard lah hor. people judge too fast. without thinking. as though we know evrything on earth. lame much?

u knw i can judge anyone anything anytime. but how accurate are my judgements. i wouldnt know. if i were to judge incorrectly. goshh. it’ll be the most embarrassing thing that will ever happen to me man. how will it benefit anyway. satisfy em ego? mmm

anyway, its kinda obvious that people arent perfect and we are as flaw-ful as evryone else. u knw some can be real hideous and still judge. so its kinda funny. but anything uh. i just find it funny. judging without having solid prove. really funny. it shows how lame we can be uh.

anyways, lets grow up. u grow up. we just wana win. but win in a smarter way. dont have to try hard to win. cos it’ll make urself look damn stupid. i swear. no point getting gd education but having no brains when it comes to ur EQ and whatever actions ure doing.

people shud have a goal in life. and everyone has the right to have aspirations. u just need the passion and eye for details. and ure reaching ur goal in no time. u want it. u work for it. u get it. only u knw what to do to go all the way. and if anyone who doenst have any goals in life, they shud just shut up n think about their own life n future and not “busy-bodying” in otehr life n judge. we have no rights to do that.

just gotto wake up. cos such things are getting lamer. very amusing. see how stupidity can make u look ugly. gosh.

ok im tired. cant wait for CCC camp and orientation programme!! weee

nights all.

revenge-ful crap

” Revenge converts a little right into a great wrong” – German proverb

the quote says it all. it just feels right at first but after that, its no where near pleasure. it just turns bad and people start to regret. is it some kind of an easy ticket to making oneself feel better?

ego. ego. ego. why must such thing exists? what fun or rather what do we get for fighting or competing to be right. its obviously nice to feel that im right in all the things that i do but are we in the right position to claim that what we feel or think is right? how sure are we as humans to think that we’re right? how perfect is our assumption?

if i think that im right, u think that ure right, evryone thinks that they’re right thn whos gna give in? whos gna win? in the frst place shud there be any winner? is it about winning?

ok so compete, win and thn? whats the prize? self satisfaction? superiority? superiority = fame? popularity? whats the real prize here?? im nto sure myself man

times when i do face such problems..n i feel kinda dumb. ok yeah im tryna “win” this argument or “win” as debate.. but what do i get. self satisfaction. what can that benefit me? can it feed me or something?

often we feel intimidated by something or someone. be it caused by whatever reasons or what. usually the first thing in our mind is  “how come he/she is better thn me”. next mindset will be, “i must win this”. so what do i do next? “how to bring this person down?” or “what shud i do to make me win and make me feel better?”

most of which result to revenge. ego seeks being the best/ being the winner which then seeks revenge, arguments or fights. true?

ive no idea. still finding out. correct me if im wrong. im still confused. within myself and when i observe it from somewhere else.

i just wana lead a simple yet humble life. but temptations just haunt me, causing me unleash the ego in me. really bad. i knw. comments welcomed pls.

take care all. i love u andrea

yearn that warmth

i feel pretty bad right now. i wana met my gf for awhile tmr. she’ll ahve along break in between classes tmr. it’d be mafan for ehr to go home first. but i hve some sch shit to settle. so im gna meet ehr for awhile. im sorry hon

was 25th march last wed. means 35th monthniversary!! with my gf. hahah. that meanss. next month would be our? 3rd anni man! haha. i cant wait. time flies real quick! gosh.

i do love her soo much. no matter how many issues we faced n all. through thick or thin.  seeing her smile to seeing her cry to seeing her jump for joy to seeing her get excited by the little stuff i get for her to seeing getting irritated to seeing her tryna show tantrum to seeing her sulk to touching her skin to resting on her comfy shoulders to sniffing her perfume (my fav) to hugging her tight, etc. gone thru alot of awesome, scary, happy, sad, joyful, etc, moments togethr. 

everyone has their flaws. yet unexplainable. i love her. u just knw it when u feel it inside. her face tattoed in my mind all the time. whatever words i use or things i do or problems i go through. i dno how to describe it. all i can say is that. i just cant live without you sweetie :)

whenever i raise my voice, scold u or hurt u. i truly didnt mean it at all. seeing u hurt is not even in the list of thing i want to see or experience. and ure still hot n cute alright?? haha.

 

my gf and myself

i love u soo much baby mmuacks! 

gd night.

nothing new

hey mates. how is it goin? well oh well. for me nothing much. typical old week. and lester’s home!! farhan jel n i missed him a great deal. hahah. fetched him from the airport around 12.30 am on tue nnight. pretty late. had popeyes b4 that. hes friend were surprised to see his friends fetching him in the wee hours. muahah. funnay. it was much funnier when he came out. we pretended not to notice him. he was like “hmm. where are my friends” bitchfuck. hahah. thn took picturees n shit. otw to the carpark we laughed all the way. jel n i were running with the trolley when it suddenly half toppled!! fark!. hahah. i almst fell and my face was like scared/cramped/unglam. hahah. jel’s coke flew off. hahaha..it was a funny crap moment.. we laughed like fuckers. damn u guys. wan was damn kind to send us home when he lives all the way at simei. tahnks much man. sap kuns!

sun was family day including my grandma. went to carousel for dinner. the food was great. took  some awesome pictures. will post sooners. evryone of us had fun. its ncie to see smiles and laughter around. missed my grandma a whole lot. never though i’d miss my bro’s company. he just graduated from SISPEC. hes a sergeant now. haha. attached to some camp in clementi. pics soon!

mon n wed i had mendaki relief. i earned myself 75 bucks for 3 hours of work. damnn. hahah. gd money seriously. the kids were awesome. referring to the em2 class. they pretty smart just a little playful. and the sch is just the neighbourhood across mine. so yea 5 mins journey. near gd money short hours. wat more can i ask for.

today outs with my darling sibs including our maid farhan. hahah. kidding man. newton circus – island creamery – town. overall awesome. we had much fun. great food, dessert, great time, great company. tried the nutella ice cream and apple pie. omg yummayness! haha *half faint* trip down to town was funn. but the place is truly boring. been towning alot, boring place. thn mrt-ed home with jelly n lesterox. laughed our way home. we’ll never stop making fun of each other. hahah. lester’s getting fat. boobs getting bigger. jel’s arms full of water. jaw lines disappearing. hahah. oh god we’re all getting fat! damn. hahah. sorry guys. exercise time! awesome day nigga. oh yea newton circus was awesome food! hawker centres are really awesome food heaven. simple yet awesome. i loved it!

sat’s spinelli’s interview. i just need a job man seriously. i can really feel the pinch of the recession going on. fuck much all company wanting workers who can work long terms. n stuff. how dey how.. i hve sch this april. oh anw i actually got a job as a tv production assitant for a locl production. but!!! i there certain requirements i cat fulfill. so yeah. sadly.anw  hoping for the best!

sometimes whatever we think isnt always right. cos what we think may not be what others think. sometimes we fail to notice that we are actually our own enermy. sometimes or most of the time. problems are inflicted by us n us only.

my gf is better than yours

Valentine’s day with mah baby!

Her grilled fish which she thought it sucked. haha.
shes pretty aint she?

candid much. had steak with chicken. im such a glutton.

vday dinner was awesome! had soo much fun with her. yes we cant afford days fo meet ups or dates. thats why when we meet i never want it to end each time. its sad but what matters to me most is knowing that we love each other and that i have her in my life.

My gf’s parents’ homecoming surprise!

She really suck in spying. her parents were alrdy at the taxi stand and there she was  waiting for her parents to come out of the arrival hall. hahah.

had to wake up around 6.30 am when  3 hours before that i was at the same location (changi airport term 2) to fetch my bro who just came back from taiwan for his NS. haha

it was worth while definitely. had soo much fun with her. the long bus ride, the ya kun kaya toast breakfast, the waiting moments, the spying moments which didnt work out and lastly, seeing the smile on her face.  its really worth it. i miss u babe.

hoping for the best for ur exams honey.
i love ya

nights

uhh k

HIxZxz
im tired manss. i just wana write an entry saying that im tired lor. like tired cos i dno sia. like slp late wake up early. thn i dno one. still tired. oh i think cos not enuf slp sia. but hor. ok nvm liaos.

anw right, i tell u first. today right i go student interview training lors. damn cool sia. beh tahan one i tell u frst. like damn cool uh. thn damn sian one i forget bring specs. thn see no balls when the excutive producer present on the screen sia. see beh song! beh tahan serious. but nvm lor. got to knw about the my job as student interviewer for the singapore entrepeneur award hor. wahh song booo. need to nominate company siaa..thn interview owner or ceo or the company. wah shiok i tell u. im damn excited one. thn hor one interview 100 bucks wahh..ssrious. i happy monkey. and good for portfolio, experience and all sia. cheebye. steady one i damn excited i get chosen.

wah thn hor. i shock serious. i go in hor wah steady only lah. i never print my curricular vitae. cheebye. damn sian. i scared bodoh. but thn hor i got explain to the exec. producer. she nice one. oh oh thn hor. wahh i damn shock sia. out of the 10 people uh, only me and farhan poly lehh. wahh like steady only. like no shame one. thn hor. 7 from NUS 1 from NTU plus we all. nabei. like cannot believe one. but hor..need to introduce ourselves and say why we want to do this interview thing. wah cb i swear i damn scared. say infrnt of all tehse people. wahh.. but thn hor. i did ok lor. sian. damn cool one.

i cannot wait to start one serious. i need to reserahc now to find who i should choose to nominate and interview. like shiok serious. cannot wait one. nang bo ti nang. tuay bu tuay?

gd exposure siaa. thn experience. relevant to my diploma sia cb. thn if good one uh. i get cert from the board of governers siaa.. and when i submit the interview my profile and transcript will be on the net lorr. shiokkk. can showcase my skills to 7o0oo or more people voting forn these people sia. wah gd chance one. i like. like damn steady man.

k i tell u frst uh. i damn tired knw. i dno why one. thn i think i alwayswant slp frst like that. so right. gd night la k. i see u tomollow. steady? kk zhao.

wan an.. wo ai ni many

wake up call

research note 1:

each one of us wants to be significant.

research note 2:

too sudden a change do trigger curiosity/wild assumptions

research note 3:

the main cause of most conflicts and pain is the fear of rejection

research note 4:

no one likes to lose

research note 5:

we are all not alone when always think we are.

research note 6:

even when we are wrong, we’ll do what it takes to save our ass. cos we just hate to be deemed as accused by the otehr party.

research note 7:

our lifes are pampered with pleasures that we are blind to see what we alrdy hve infrnt of our eyes. we tend to want more

research note 8:

a + B = C (NOT ‘A’ OR ‘B’)
what the fuck is C? C is not A or B. go figure

research note 9:

love never promises heaven. but rather a package that consists of heaven + hell. get that into our heads. prepare to face it.

research note 10:

silence does not mean that we alrdy win.

research note 11:

winning is one thing, winning for the wrong reason is another.

research note 12:

a relationship is not a competition but rather a test of our ego.

research note 13:

look at ourselves first before finding fault/blame of others’.

research note 14:

for every reaction, there surely has its cause. so which one is to be blamed?

even so? does it give the affected the right to overreact? do we actually know the real reason why the defendant caused such feelings to happen?

research note 15:

“practice what we preach.”
we all want everything. do the same for others the way we want them to do the same for us.

lastly:

its all about ‘WE’ and not ‘YOU’, or ‘ME’.

we’re all guilty of this. it time we all sit back n reflect i guess. temptations will forever be there. its whethr we are mature enough to resist all this n think beyond receiving plasures. start thinking of consequences. the good and the bad. from there perhaps we can decide and look into things wisely n just make us mature not only physically but also mentally.

emotions will always be there. no doubts. but how long can we obey our emotions and make things worse.

we’re all guilty.

take care

con’t

oh and. when people feel dissapointed, it doesnt mean that they’re right. WE are all capable of assuming shits which arent true. so control those nerves and learn to listent o the otehr side of the story. that might help.

or maybe not. i eman humans have the right to do or think as they wish to. but in life. evryone’s thougths shud be considered b4 assuming shits. i mean what other possible reasons that cud cause conflicts right.

is it about who fault it is? or is it always the cause of both parties. like maybe. one for assuming and the other for causing it. or like one for assuming the negative n the otehr for not gievn the chnace to explain. i dno.

anyway, karma’s a bitch. life isnt a bed of roses. even so. there will always be thorns hidden beneath. reality sucks. but we gotta live it.

whatever it is take it as my fault. i was born to hurt people.

thanks for reading

con’t

oh and. when people feel dissapointed, it doesnt mean that they’re right. WE are all capable of assuming shits which arent true. so control those nerves and learn to listent o the otehr side of the story. that might help.

or maybe not. i eman humans have the right to do or think as they wish to. but in life. evryone’s thougths shud be considered b4 assuming shits. i mean what other possible reasons that cud cause conflicts right.

is it about who fault it is? or is it always the cause of both parties. like maybe. one for assuming and the other for causing it. or like one for assuming the negative n the otehr for not gievn the chnace to explain. i dno.

anyway, karma’s a bitch. life isnt a bed of roses. even so. there will always be thorns hidden beneath. reality sucks. but we gotta live it.

whatever it is take it as my fault. i was born to hurt people.

thanks for reading

what the

seriously. whats wrong now? i thought things were doing good. but apparently, it aint that easy.

if only its that easy to read minds. i dont knw what else to say.

times that sting

“when you assume your are creating an ass out of you and me.” – azleen sudharjhono
why didnt i think of that. ass-u-me. sheshh. i must say its really true and for me personally, its kinda proven. i guess im not the only victim of this. conflicts which were caused by ruthless assumptions. needless to say.

this moment of time’s really horrible for me. my fault? others’? i dont care. so what if its mine or urs or others’ fault. in the end, im the one who got hurt alot. yeah ok. im not soo selfish. i know my actions did hurt people indirectly. but it just happend. i cudnt control it neither did i want it to happen. shits do happen. yes ure feeling sucky. i am too. but its not about whos feeling suckier or what not. its about accepting the fact that shits really can happen. u listen to my explainations and i listen to urs. emotions make u feel like ure the victim. like no one else is feeling as shitty as u. it blinds u to the true fact. facts like what the otehr party is facing. be it good or bad. make any sense?

im not surprised actually. its like a norm. common event that happend to evryone, evryone, anywhere, and everywhere. so yeah. we shud be able to suck it in.

im just soo glad to have an awesome, supportive gf. she was there when shits happend. i feel soo nice confiding to her. i felt much better after that. she felt soo angry for me that even after i was fine, she was still angry for me. haha. so cute. i miss her. sigh. i just need to hide in her arms right now. i swear.  

 im still coping with it. slowly. its hurts yes. inevitable? maybe?  thats life. anyway, thanks baby. i really appreciate it. and those who asked me if im fine n all, thanks. im fine. no worries.

i dont just wnat this issue to end. but having it to come to an end forever. being impulsive wont help. voice out each time u face shits. dnt let it accumulate in ur. this advice applies to me as well. these often lead to implosive behaviour. the anger grows soo much that eventually a small tick can just cause u to explode. yeah sound soo like me. n i knw many of u too. 

 whatever it is lets not look back in anger. maybe for the time being yes. but once its all good. i hope i wouldnt have to look back at this and let history repeat itself. but its almst impossible. i dno man.

ok im tired now. i need to rest n talk to my gf now.

nights all..

i love u honey. and i hope to see u real soon if time permits us.
mmuuackss

just some useful advice

try it!

but why

 

 

needless to say. dissapointment!

hahah

blame on ur fucking self

if u feel that ur life is horrible enough and all otehr things around u is at fault for it, thn u better fucking wake the fuck up! ok? u ahve ur own problems go settle it urself lah fuck. wana vent it on people around u? for what fuck? like they caused ur sufferings n all. stupid fucker. if ure not happy with ur life right, thn fucking blame urself lah. its fucking unfair for u to fucking vent it on ur fucking closed ones. thats the last thing they want from u k. u fucking dont know me well so dnt fucking tryna act like u do. do u even care to know whats going on in their lives?? i dno man. but from how i see it. i doubt it. u fucking blame me for doing something i didnt and sound as though i must know each single thing on earth. what teh fuck man. im not perfect and why the fuck wud i wana hurt anyone or spoil something. U think i have nothing fuck to do?

i just find it weird. each and evrytime i see ur face, i get those things from u. what the fuck?? i dno whtehr u trust me or not. fuck it. ure not perfect as well. remember that ok. ur just lousy. just accept that and do something about it. stop balming otehr as though they owe u a living .

use ur fucking brains for once. practice what u preach. look at urself b4 looking at others’ mistakes.

comes first

Priorities. what purpose do they serve? do we have the luxury to choose what to prioritise and stuff?

ok anything. school’s out. hols are in. 3 weeks. sufficient rest i guess. i wouldnt wana miss sch again. though class have been rather tiring. i’d have to admit that sch’s getting fun each time. i love my friends. my sibs especially.  haha. and those do/say-same-thing-at-the-same-time is freaky but i loike it. schedule been the same each day. be it break or not. things we do, go and eat. Laughters never fail to make our day but it doesn help when we get tired after that. dangg.

class was fun fun today. 2 freakin teams. but it was math! wth.  it was fun though. hahah my faci, Dr chris rock balls big time man. haha. he taught us in this logical way that really got us thinking and figuring out what the math formula means and the purpose withouthim telling us. he just probe us further to direct us. in the end, we got it. was sex i tell ya. hahah. and i missed the frst part of class when he was discussing regarding masterbation. wtf? haha.

all in all. gd week so far. met my gf on wednesday. we had a blast. haha. had swensens and thn watched four christmas. my second time watching it. it was ok.but was funnier the second time. ahah perhaps cos of the company i had. heheh. im sorry hon. i just cant help moving around. restless much. hahah.  was fun. i loikee. love u baby!

oh yes. she complained to me that im pretty noisy. ok fine. she claimed that im very talkative n noisy. haha. come on. where gortttt. i disgree lor. in class im like soo angelica. only talk when need to. like ahem. n i rarly annoy people n creat such unnecessary noise. i knw u guys agree right. ya seee. sometimes, its a gd thing ya knw

 

oh shit havent done rj. had chris’s rj. need citations!!!. grrr.

ok sluts gta go now.
zhao cheetah! ok lame

nights all

random pics

cousin bitch! haha kidding sis

lomo shit

flames award!

too stressed up i guess

loving too much of urself = gayness?

sheshhh. gross.

learn to love urself be anything else

coolness?

awwwwww